TWO PINK ROSES

When I think back to my childhood I can't remember being fed by my mother although I know she did feed me. I can remember her sitting down at the sewing machine and sewing clothes for me and for my dolls.  I can remember just a few months ago I took her flowers and there were two roses mixed with other varieties.  My mother looked at the two roses and said, “Rita, those two roses are me and you.”  As the end comes for our parents it seems that memories are all that we have left.  My mother has been diagnosed with Aortic Stenosis and the only cure is open-heart surgery.  However, she is too week from a blood infection so she cannot have the surgery.  At the hospital she told the doctors she did not want to have open heart surgery so I guess in a way, she also had a say in the decision.  All the same, it is very difficult to see her health decline each day.  

She now lies in her hospital bed with the care of Hospice and barely speaks.  She looks at me with deep concentration when I go to see her.  Yesterday she stared at me for the longest time so I looked back at her.  A few minutes into the deep concentration I ask her what she was thinking.  She said in a very slow voice "you are pretty".  As I felt a tear roll down my face I reminded her that I looked like her and that she was beautiful.  She smiled a little.  She then went back to sleep.  Tonight as I fed her meal to her I realized this is another memory to cherish.  She will not be with us much longer so it is imperative to cherish all the past memories as well as the future ones with her.  I may not remember my mother feeding me as a child but I will always remember feeding her as an adult.  

MY MOM'S GUIDANCE

ORIGINAL POST 5/14/2011 ON MY MON'S GUIDANCE BLOG

So, Lets talk about Moms!

I think we all have many moms in our lives, for me, a birth mom, a stepmom, a mom-in-law and even a grandmother who filled in at times. Each of my moms has had different impacts on my life. We will start with my birth mom.

She brought me into this world, which was a great miracle for her. You see, before bringing me into this world, she had lost two others. My brother and sister, born a year apart, both died after birth. This was so traumatic for her; she developed a condition called paranoid schizophrenia. Over my life, there were many times she was unable to care for me. As a teenager I felt like I missed out on things other girls were doing. Although she could not do for me things other mothers could do, she taught me how to understand others. I learned from her what today helps me understand people who have mental disabilities.

God sent me my stepmom when I was a young teenager. She came alone when I needed a mom during the teen years. She was the one who helped me in the most vulnerable days of dating. She was the one who made sure we went to the beach each year. She was the one who took me to pick out the prom dress and sat with me as we waited on my first date to arrive. She helped me through my wedding and the birth of my children. Without her, I am not sure where I would have been today.

Then there is my mom-in-law. She is the mom who is always there. She cooks lunch ever Sunday for us. She puts on the big Christmas for us. She keeps her grandchildren and goes on trips with us. She is the glue that holds our family together. I am truly blessed by her love and care for our family.

My precious grandmother had a huge impact on me. Actually she was the one who brought the discipline. No, she didn’t have to actually spank me, but she taught me the values that I live by today. She brought out the bible and taught me to live by it. Even today, when things come into my life that would not benefit me, my grandmother’s words come to me and give me guidance. I truly miss her now that she is in Heaven, but I know I will see her again one-day.

Now I am a mom. Not only do I have the privilege of being the mom of two great children, I am blessed to be a mom to many children through foster care. I feel like all the moms in my life have had a great impact. I hope I have learned something from all of my moms to help me become a better "Mom".

I am blessed beyond measure and I don’t take it for granted. I love them all and thank God for what He has done for me.

Meet my birth mom..........Edith.  This picture was taken about three years ago.